Research Paper Draft

I really enjoyed writing this paper a lot more than any of the other papers or analysis that we have written in the past. I guess I liked this one more because it was more of just stating and explaining the research you found in a certain format. When writing I didn't really have as much difficulty writing and completing this draft especially since the outline was basically the paper itself. I feel most confident probably with the introduction and analysis of quotations from my sources because I feel like I explained each one and followed the examples that were previously given in class. I also feel pretty confident about my transitions from one paragraph or topic to another. I probably feel least confident about my introduction just because there were so many do nots that were suggested and it was pretty difficult to try and avoid them. And the introduction isn't suppose to start of as like "in ancient times" which was hard to avoid because that's kind of when the events and research in my paper took place.

I would like the most help with connecting my introduction and conclusion to each other for example like the drafting video suggested that it would be nice to introduce a question in your introduction and then answer it in your conclusion about your topic. Also I would love to have help with the beginning of my introduction and the amount of information that I should include in it because I kind of feel that I may have included too much. I would suggest when you read my draft you should focus the feedback mainly on the introduction and conclusion and just the thoroughness of them both. Also on how that connect back to each other like a research paper should.

WORK TIMES

Tuesday-Thursday-  Reading (class time) 30 minutes
Thursday- Detailed Thesis & Outline 30 minutes
Friday- Revised detail thesis & outline 10 minutes
Saturday- reading 60 minutes

Research: Informal vs. Formal

Hey Tess! What's up? I was wondering if I could talk to you about this research project for school. See the assignment started in my AP world history class and I had to research the rights and responsibilities of a topic of my choice. Then we had to make notecards and bib cards for at least ten sources on information about the topic you chose. After I did all of that stuff we were told that we had to complete a project like an exhibit, a video or something of that source on our topic that could be entered in this contest for National History Day. Aside from that we have to write a four to six paged paper on the research we found. And we had to redo our bib cards to make sure our sources were reliable which took forever. Sounds like a lot right. I know. Well at least I learned some things about my topic so this project didn't seem like a total waste, ya know. Well I learned that Spartan women were able to dress freely, train their body, own/ inherit land, be involved with politics but "behind he scenes and were able to educate themselves. And i even learned that all of their "freedom" may have come from Sparta's isolation from any other civilization or the fact that men couldn't handle all of the land and its responsibilities on their own when Sparta expanded so they included women and gave them more "freedom" to help themselves out. And there's plenty of more information on Spartan women that I learned as well. I figured that since you are so interested in women's rights that you would want to learn about the rights that some women had a long time ago.

In AP world history ,a couple of months ago, my class and I were assigned to participate in National History Day. For National History Day our teacher, Ms. Harper, informed us that we would have to research a topic that occurred in the past or during ancient times that pertained to rights and responsibilities, which was the theme for National History this year. My topic is on the rights and responsibilities of Spartan women. We had to research our topic and create at least ten bib cards on the sources we used to find information. Our bib cards had to include an annotation as well that included an evaluation. summary and reflection on that source. Our teacher then checked our annotations and bib cards and gave us feedback on them before we had to start working on our English portion of this project. Also for the world history portion of this National History project our class had to make some sort of visual display that explained our topic and all of the information we learned through an exhibit, a ten to twelve page paper, a documentary, a performance or a web site. This visual display is due around March and if its good our teacher will enter in the National History Day contest against other students all over the nation. And for English we had to transfer the information we learned and researched into a four to six page research paper. Also before writing the research paper we had to edit and revise our bi cards and make sure they were reliable and credible. From all the research on my topic I learned a copies amount of facts and information. I learned that Spartan women weren't really respected by other ancient civilization women because of their many rights and freedoms and they looked at them in a different way. Spartan women were allowed to train their body, educate themselves, participate in behind the scenes politics and participate in contest against men that enhanced and reflected their physical training. Spartan women were supplied with these many rights most likely due to Sparta's isolation and their fast and quick expansion. Spartan women were even able to dress freely, participate in other jobs and activities besides watching after children and cooking and were able to educate themselves in literature and other subjects. All of these rights were frowned upon by other ancient civilizations especially Athens.

Work Times

Wednesday- Reading
Thursday- Reading
Friday- Reading
Pages 67-153  75 minutes

Tuesday- Bib Cards
Wednesday- Bib Cards
Thursday- Notecards
Friday-Notecards
55 minutes

Work Times

Friday~ January 10th~ Allegiant~ 30 minutes
Saturday~January 11th~The Absolutely True Life a Part-Time Indian~ 35 minutes~ 1-48 pages
Sunday~January 12th~ Research Annotations~ 30 minutes
Monday~ January 13th~ The Absolutely True Life a Part-Time Indian~ 48-67 pages ~ 15 minutes
Monday~ January 13th~ Research Work~ 25 minutes

What is a book that has made you think or changed your mind?

To Kill A Mockingbird and Lord of the Flies have definitely made me picture and think of life and people in a different way. To Kill A Mockingbird taught think before doing. It made me start picturing people in different ways. By not judging a book by its cover more rather then just stating it. To Kill A Mockingbird also made me wonder what life is like for other people. I guess people can seem happy on the outside but can also be feeling the complete opposite on the inside. To Kill A Mockingbird helped me to be less judgmental and more sympathetic to others even if I may not know them that well or at all. This book also helped me to learn more about the different people in life and the difference between them. For example there's people like Tom Robinson and Calpurnia that don't have the best life or they aren't the most fortunate but yet they still remain true to their morals and values and whats right.  And then there's people like Mayella Ewell that may seem all nice and fun but are really just out to hurt you and reputation. And then there's people like Atticus that are just the peacemakers and they don't care who's the most popular or the prettiest they just want what's right to be done. They want to resolve all issues with the best outcome possible. They also want to help and teach others about what's right from learning from their mistakes.

Lord of the Flies helped me to see the world and people in a different way. Lord of the Flies taught me that the world isn't as pretty as it may seem and that there's darkness in everyone and everything. For example the island. When the boys first arrived it was filled with pretty flowers and clear water. But soon as their inner savages were brought out the island became the complete opposite. The island was filled with fire, dead bodies and blood soon after they arrived. Also Lord of the Flies helped me to understand ids and superegos.

Research. Research. Research.

My topic for this research project is on the rights and responsibilities of Spartan women. I plan to write my research paper on their different rights and responsibilities throughout their community. Also my research paper will explain their rights and responsibilities in comparison to women of other civilizations, specifically Athens because of their major differences and in comparison to modern day women. My main focus of my research paper will be based around the Spartan women's major freedom particularly on how they could own land, compete in the Olympics, and train their bodies (most things that other women couldn't do during this time period).


You should care about this topic because it informs you on history and how it was for women in the past. It also informs you on how advancements in technology and rules can help bring equality between men and women. The rights and responsibilities of Spartan women can also inform you on how women activist in the past and over years have made such a huge impact to the equality of women. My topic can even teach you to value the freedoms of women today even though women in Sparta had way more freedom then women in their time period Spartan women still didn't have as much freedom as modern day women.

This week I plan to continue and further research my topic. I also plan to check and revise my sources and their annotations. As I revise my annotations and check my sources I plan to search for comparisons between sources and search for information and facts that stand out above others. When I complete that I plan to start organizing my information into particular categories for my research paper paragraphs.